When your friend asks you for advice, do you give it? When you give it, how often are you told you are full of it? (Unless you’re one of the Three Stooges, not often!) Your friends more than likely think enough like you that your solution makes sense, or inspires them to approach it from a new angle. Are you the type of friend you can trust? Here’s how to find out — journal.
That’s right, keep a journal. Journals are one of the things that few plan on recording a life history in order to create a movie. And starting to write may seem mundane and drab at first, but after about a year, the results will stupify you at how much you did know, and how much more you know now. The longer you journal, the more it will surprise you.
The best part is that you will find some answers from a reliable source you can trust — you. You see, history does repeat itself, sometimes a different shade, but recognizeable still. This advice is someone you already know. Do it, it works.
At first it’s a new habit, so put it somewhere you will see each night so you write in it the same time every night, when your day is winding to a close. (Also good therapy for sleep, by the way.) You can be your own worst enemy, or your own best friend, and this is the perfect way to find out which you are.
P.S. A journal is NOT a diary, so refrain from writing anything highly emotional that isn’t under lock and key.
The phrase of Nature’s abhor of a vacuum that always manages to fill a void is undeniably true. When an undesirable habit has a replacement by a habit that leaves a more pleasant taste in your mouth, it is generally a challenge that takes some time to accomplish. You already know that “bad habits are hard to break,” but how did you acquire it in the first place? That all comes down the subconscious, subliminal, and other in-depth processes we cannot cover in this short period, however, let’s take it one step at a time.
Your mind is like a glass bottle, in that when the contents of the bottle cease to be, the bottle is not truly empty–it is now full of air. The same goes for your mind as it will be full of something, whether you put the information in, or allow someone else to channel you. The hard truth is the more you allow certain thoughts to take up residency, the more often those thoughts will occur until you have developed a habit, and changing that habit is extremely difficult, but not impossible with patience.
You must make a conscious effort in order to recondition your mind. For instance, if you know you have anger issues to where your temper takes over at inappropriate times, this could end up costing you a lot whether it be a relationship, a large purchase, or even a working position. This thought needs to be rechanneled by first realizing and taking responsibility for the action, and then neutralizing it with a positive affirmation such as, “No one has the right to decide how I will react but me, no matter what she says, and no one can make me angry or feel guilty without me feeding into her sales pitch. No one has the right to control my emotions without my permission.”
Stop and look at the last day or so and ask yourself how many times your emotions make decisions for you. It is time to turn the vacuum off and reverse it to blow the bad habits out, creating more room for good ones.
When you know about computers, you know that GIGO refers to “garbage in – garbage out” because a lot of unnecessary information is placed into storage until deliberate removal takes place. There are programs to assist in the process that can run automatically during the night while you sleep, or you can manually begin the programs deleting history, viruses, or other issues your computer is not agreeing with, which may cause it to slow down.
Your mind is your body’s computer, and suspiciously enough, it is similar to a computer in many ways. Your mind will be fed, whether you intentionally feed it or not, and it is not just what passes down the esophagus. Sure, what you digest is certainly important in keeping your mind healthy, but even more important than food is what you entertain or exercise your mind with during the day, or even while you sleep and dream.
When you allow your mind to have healthy and nourishing input, it will become strong and responsive, but if you restrict it to negative, unhealthy, and unproductive input, you are essentially feeding it “junk food.” This garbage out would be better off not being exposed to your mind in the first place.
Feed your mind a healthy, balanced diet including information in a variety of fields, or the latest trends. You will be happily surprised to realize how much more positive a person you become by “defragging” your mind to fill it with ideas to benefit you, instead of take away from healthy thoughts.
Suggesting solutions or compromises can save a working relationship and lay new ground for a stronger foundation. This direction takes a piece from all the workers making a decision and weaves them into an all-encompassing blanket, giving everyone “warm fuzzies,” as long as the answers are of a reasonable nature. When everyone is happy, they may feel encouragement enough to continue working within the project, rather than sabotaging a situation that seemingly rejects the participants. In other words, people may unknowingly reject themselves because an idea of their own is not of an acceptable nature. As a supervisor or manager, the importance of having your team feel as important as the next member of the team is crucial, as the employees cheer together for well-deserved accomplishments.
In a company, a “boss” tells a person what to do, while a “supervisor” watches over the progress and makes tiny changes here and there in order to guide progress. In the race of business, the supervisor who always crosses the finish line first does so with positive business results and ecstatic employees.
(For ideas on strenghtening your team, click Joe Paterno’s statement below.)
“When a team outgrows individual performance and learns team confidence, excellence becomes a reality.” — Joe “JoePa” Paterno, Penn State Football Coach of 46 years
In your life, you meet and know people who throw themselves over the puddle in the street to keep others from getting wet. On the contrary, you know people who refuse to go near the puddle until someone else covers it. So where’s the fine line, or is there one?
The answer to that question seems elusive, yet is extremely simple; no one can take advantage of you without your permission. While everyone can be a sucker once, it’s the ones who learn from the experience and refuse to allow it to happen again we consider intelligent. But the ones who make the same mistakes over and over again, and then complain about the end results seem as is confusion is a regular part of the daily schedule. No matter how you slice it, 2 + 2 = 4, just as someone who drinks and drives will eventually hurt someone. It is a fact.
When someone asks you or demands you do something, and you do it without asking questions, especially when your head is saying it’s a bad idea, it’s ridiculous to whine and point fingers later in an effort to shift the blame.
The essence is simple by saying that no one can take advantage of you without your permission, regardless of how someone asks you. The next time someone asks you to do something you have questions about, think about someone in particular you care about and respect. Would you think that person should complete the task? If you get a sick feeling in your stomach, that’s the answer. If the task causes you to clap him or her on the back, and exclaim how proud you are, go for it.
Being a pushover is not a great way to get a promotion, but to gain latrine duty. Be helpful, but don’t be sopping wet in the mud puddle while others walk across your back, or punch you in the face and laugh.
“Hope and fear don’t travel together.” — Napoleon Hill
Doing a little extra can benefit you in two different ways, both of them inviting opportunities, an increase in understanding and in building a positive reputation. By paying attention to what is going on around you, many opportunities are so plain everyone else skips right over them without giving a second thought. Paying attention to small intricacies in methods or equipment can save the company you work for money hand-over-fist, and you can believe that others will notice. In understanding the equipment and functions better than the other members of your team, you’ll be in the know of the functionality and processes.
Good leaders pay attention and make notes of those who will benefit them, so they will first think of those who do a job effectively. When others respect you for the work you put out in quality and quantity, the others who are not as valuable will go by the wayside when the going gets tough. By putting yourself and your ideas out there, you will discover more than adequate compensation for yourself, as well as opportunities most can only dream of securing.
“The meeting of preparation with opportunity generates the offspring we call luck.”
You enjoy keeping letters, photos, and other memorabilia to remind you of experiences by taking you down memory lane. Your friend is having a get-together and you know the perfect outfit to wear. Pulling it from the closet, memories of your last break-up come flooding back. Although the colors and style bring out your best physical qualities, you wore this attire when you passed that final milestone in a relationship gone bad. Every time you wear it, bad things seem to happen. Why is that?
Just because you can put a particularly negative situation “out of your mind,” doesn’t mean the memory is gone, you are only suppressing the memory. The thoughts, feelings, and even tastes or smells you embed deep in your mind remain. The same condition may apply with places you visit, live in, or work at. The next time you go into work, try to remember your feelings from the first time you saw the fountain, your desk, or even a person. Now imagine how your perception changes to the thoughts you entertain about those same things today.
When an occurrence of negativity has a profound enough affect that you dwell on the incident longer than an hour, you can count on a permanent stamp mentally because the energy remains. While you may not be able to change where you live or work, you can donate or throw away items that retain the negativity memory enhancers you are able to discard. Perhaps you can redecorate the room in your home, or even move items into an alternate position in the room.
At work, this may be the perfect opportunity for you to plan advancement, changing the scenery and increasing your pay at the same time. (Just avoid making the same mistake again, if possible.) You certainly do not need your entire future to receive rain from an event that happened ages ago. Replace the old with the new as quickly as feasibly possible and begin a new chapter.