When your friend asks you for advice, do you give it? When you give it, how often are you told you are full of it? (Unless you’re one of the Three Stooges, not often!) Your friends more than likely think enough like you that your solution makes sense, or inspires them to approach it from a new angle. Are you the type of friend you can trust? Here’s how to find out — journal.
That’s right, keep a journal. Journals are one of the things that few plan on recording a life history in order to create a movie. And starting to write may seem mundane and drab at first, but after about a year, the results will stupify you at how much you did know, and how much more you know now. The longer you journal, the more it will surprise you.
The best part is that you will find some answers from a reliable source you can trust — you. You see, history does repeat itself, sometimes a different shade, but recognizeable still. This advice is someone you already know. Do it, it works.
At first it’s a new habit, so put it somewhere you will see each night so you write in it the same time every night, when your day is winding to a close. (Also good therapy for sleep, by the way.) You can be your own worst enemy, or your own best friend, and this is the perfect way to find out which you are.
P.S. A journal is NOT a diary, so refrain from writing anything highly emotional that isn’t under lock and key.
The phrase of Nature’s abhor of a vacuum that always manages to fill a void is undeniably true. When an undesirable habit has a replacement by a habit that leaves a more pleasant taste in your mouth, it is generally a challenge that takes some time to accomplish. You already know that “bad habits are hard to break,” but how did you acquire it in the first place? That all comes down the subconscious, subliminal, and other in-depth processes we cannot cover in this short period, however, let’s take it one step at a time.
Your mind is like a glass bottle, in that when the contents of the bottle cease to be, the bottle is not truly empty–it is now full of air. The same goes for your mind as it will be full of something, whether you put the information in, or allow someone else to channel you. The hard truth is the more you allow certain thoughts to take up residency, the more often those thoughts will occur until you have developed a habit, and changing that habit is extremely difficult, but not impossible with patience.
You must make a conscious effort in order to recondition your mind. For instance, if you know you have anger issues to where your temper takes over at inappropriate times, this could end up costing you a lot whether it be a relationship, a large purchase, or even a working position. This thought needs to be rechanneled by first realizing and taking responsibility for the action, and then neutralizing it with a positive affirmation such as, “No one has the right to decide how I will react but me, no matter what she says, and no one can make me angry or feel guilty without me feeding into her sales pitch. No one has the right to control my emotions without my permission.”
Stop and look at the last day or so and ask yourself how many times your emotions make decisions for you. It is time to turn the vacuum off and reverse it to blow the bad habits out, creating more room for good ones.
When you know about computers, you know that GIGO refers to “garbage in – garbage out” because a lot of unnecessary information is placed into storage until deliberate removal takes place. There are programs to assist in the process that can run automatically during the night while you sleep, or you can manually begin the programs deleting history, viruses, or other issues your computer is not agreeing with, which may cause it to slow down.
Your mind is your body’s computer, and suspiciously enough, it is similar to a computer in many ways. Your mind will be fed, whether you intentionally feed it or not, and it is not just what passes down the esophagus. Sure, what you digest is certainly important in keeping your mind healthy, but even more important than food is what you entertain or exercise your mind with during the day, or even while you sleep and dream.
When you allow your mind to have healthy and nourishing input, it will become strong and responsive, but if you restrict it to negative, unhealthy, and unproductive input, you are essentially feeding it “junk food.” This garbage out would be better off not being exposed to your mind in the first place.
Feed your mind a healthy, balanced diet including information in a variety of fields, or the latest trends. You will be happily surprised to realize how much more positive a person you become by “defragging” your mind to fill it with ideas to benefit you, instead of take away from healthy thoughts.
In your life, you meet and know people who throw themselves over the puddle in the street to keep others from getting wet. On the contrary, you know people who refuse to go near the puddle until someone else covers it. So where’s the fine line, or is there one?
The answer to that question seems elusive, yet is extremely simple; no one can take advantage of you without your permission. While everyone can be a sucker once, it’s the ones who learn from the experience and refuse to allow it to happen again we consider intelligent. But the ones who make the same mistakes over and over again, and then complain about the end results seem as is confusion is a regular part of the daily schedule. No matter how you slice it, 2 + 2 = 4, just as someone who drinks and drives will eventually hurt someone. It is a fact.
When someone asks you or demands you do something, and you do it without asking questions, especially when your head is saying it’s a bad idea, it’s ridiculous to whine and point fingers later in an effort to shift the blame.
The essence is simple by saying that no one can take advantage of you without your permission, regardless of how someone asks you. The next time someone asks you to do something you have questions about, think about someone in particular you care about and respect. Would you think that person should complete the task? If you get a sick feeling in your stomach, that’s the answer. If the task causes you to clap him or her on the back, and exclaim how proud you are, go for it.
Being a pushover is not a great way to get a promotion, but to gain latrine duty. Be helpful, but don’t be sopping wet in the mud puddle while others walk across your back, or punch you in the face and laugh.
“Hope and fear don’t travel together.” — Napoleon Hill
You enjoy keeping letters, photos, and other memorabilia to remind you of experiences by taking you down memory lane. Your friend is having a get-together and you know the perfect outfit to wear. Pulling it from the closet, memories of your last break-up come flooding back. Although the colors and style bring out your best physical qualities, you wore this attire when you passed that final milestone in a relationship gone bad. Every time you wear it, bad things seem to happen. Why is that?
Just because you can put a particularly negative situation “out of your mind,” doesn’t mean the memory is gone, you are only suppressing the memory. The thoughts, feelings, and even tastes or smells you embed deep in your mind remain. The same condition may apply with places you visit, live in, or work at. The next time you go into work, try to remember your feelings from the first time you saw the fountain, your desk, or even a person. Now imagine how your perception changes to the thoughts you entertain about those same things today.
When an occurrence of negativity has a profound enough affect that you dwell on the incident longer than an hour, you can count on a permanent stamp mentally because the energy remains. While you may not be able to change where you live or work, you can donate or throw away items that retain the negativity memory enhancers you are able to discard. Perhaps you can redecorate the room in your home, or even move items into an alternate position in the room.
At work, this may be the perfect opportunity for you to plan advancement, changing the scenery and increasing your pay at the same time. (Just avoid making the same mistake again, if possible.) You certainly do not need your entire future to receive rain from an event that happened ages ago. Replace the old with the new as quickly as feasibly possible and begin a new chapter.
The emotions you have can be strange and sometimes unpredictable, even unresponsive to reason and logic. When emotions of confusion set in, the best way to disbar them is to remove them by something you know how to do well–release the energy with tasks to occupy your mind of which you are comfortable. (This does not include driving.) This is a way of “greasing the cogs,” so to speak, as your brain is familiar with this process but is still encouraged to think.
What are some ways to accomplish this? While some people choose to go for walks, because this can clear the mind, what this does is increase the blood flow but allow the mind to absorb the issue. In other words, if there is a solution available, this is the appropriate action. However, when the issue is something out of your hands, and we all have this at times, you can drive yourself crazy with all of the “would be or could be” solutions while you await the other party’s verdict. This is when walking won’t work as well.
Energy builds, and if you are unable or unwilling to rid yourself of it, your mind will rid you of energy. Either you will become so depressed, lonely and discouraged that your negative thoughts will evolve into destructive manifestations, or you can immerse yourself in projects of your choosing which require the use of energy. This energy requires release in a physically exhausting way in order to clear your mind, whether you enjoy a run, skate around the park, a climb on a high peak, or even sex.
The next time you feel the walls closing in on you, you can either allow them to do so and cause despair, or you can take charge and do something for yourself in the meantime–exercise.
In order to be an achiever you can leave no room for procrastination. Like any habit, good or bad, the more repetition, the easier the act becomes. Redundancy can range from being tardy or dishonest to volunteering or donating. Every act shows a benefit, as well as a price, but the easier the task is the quicker the results typically are.
How many people have you heard state at one time, “Somebody should think of a way to…”? Consider that sentence word for word; who are they suggesting, and why aren’t they the prime considered applicants? While it is unmistakable of where the idea seems to have originated, what is the reason for its abandonment so soon in the game? The conversation seldom leaves the room. In all actuality, the purpose for considering and sharing is frequently someone fishing for acceptance. The idea was dead before even being given a chance.
Stop and think for a moment how many ideas you have, and how many you mention? In office meetings is the prime area to contemplate this issue. You have an idea which is actually plausible, but can’t think of the miraculous ending, so you throw the idea to the wayside instead of giving someone else a chance to easily come up with a solution. Instantaneous failure.
The next time you have an idea, share your thoughts with someone who can validate your ability to consider concerns not previously taken into account. Your office just might be running more smoothly, and you might be the one your supervisor comes to the next time the company needs ideas. By being proactive and dealing with the issues instead of shoving them to the back, don’t be surprised when your supervisor begins coming to you for your opinions or advice.